We often get swept up in the routine of life which we take Our unions for granted.
Luckily Allah has given us an ideal portrait in the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) to help break this routine.
Here are five practical, yet powerful, lessons from the Messenger to help rekindle our relationships.
1. Smile Often
Prophet Mohammed (SAWS) used to smile at everyone. So much so that his companies would say They never watched anyone smile over him.
It's easy to overlook how powerful a simple smile can be.
Husband or Wife; we all have long and strenuous days. Rather than bombarding your spouse with complaints on first sight, then engage them with a smiling face.
The Prophet also told us that easy smile is an act of charity
2. Say Sweet things
Prophet Muhammad would say:
"Whoever believes in Allah and the Day of Judgment permit them Say good or keep silent."
It's very simple to nitpick at our spouses. We are about each Other the time.
Rather than searching out flaws, point outside qualities.
Try to make it a new daily habit of complimenting your spouse.
3. Don't Get Angry
When Ali married Fatimah, the Prophet (peace be upon him) Gave him amazing words of information.
Advice so significant that the Prophet repeated it three times:
"Don't get Angry".
He did not tell him restrain you anger, but rather do not become mad in the first location.
We get angry at our partners for the silliest things, from The way they squeeze the toothpaste bottle to how they wash the dishes.
Chill out. Instead, smile and say something sweet.
4. Go Out Together
The Prophet would spend quality time together with his spouse.
He did not live a separate life under the same roof.
He would go on walks with his wife, travel with his wife, And seek her advice. He would participate in stimulating conversation.
When was the last time you took spouse out for a nice dinner (not speaking about curry in a hurry) or went outside for a cup of coffee?
5. Say "I Love You"
The Messenger of Allah was not afraid to profess his love.
He'd frequently speak of the Fantastic affection he had for his wife Khadijah.
A Lot of Us are likely unable to remember the last time we Said it to our partner. That is not prophetic.
Conclusion:
So there you have it:
Smile, Say Something Sweet, Don't Get Angry, Go Out and Say " I Love you" -- remember and practice.
The Institution of marriage is one of the greatest tests of
our time -- both getting married and staying married.
As if These hardships alone weren't enough, add to that the
challenge of making the marriage genuinely Islamic and effective -- since of
course, only staying and getting married in themselves are not crucial
indicators of success.
That Marriage is 'half of our deen' isn't any light
announcement; because, it needs a significant number of hard work and religion
to make our unions the vision of tranquility that Allah intends for us.
So What exactly does it take to 'dwell in tranquility' with
our spouses?
There Is no exhaustive to-do list for a thriving spouse just
as there is no one-size fits all solution to marital challenges. On the other
hand, the steps below summarize the need to start with a strong spiritual
foundation- a crucial requirement to becoming a successful Muslim spouse.
Finally, Making Allah the center of one's marriage might
help lead to making the spouses' hearts powerful for each other.
Relationship with Creator
The First and most important step to becoming a prosperous
Muslim partner is to try for a strong, wholesome relationship with your
Creator. This means learning how to direct your thoughts, intentions, words and
actions all toward fulfilling Allah. More to the point, this means learning to
live and love for the sake of Allah.
While This is a fundamental prerequisite for any healthy
relationship in this planet, it is also perhaps among the most difficult
concepts to receive our minds around as as a society, we have not learned
enough about this notion even in concept, let alone in practice.
Learning The way to love for the sake of Allah is the most
essential step simply because both you and your partner are individual, hence
fallible. Neither of you may always be lovable nor will your union always be
desired.
There Will be ups and downs, moments of hardship and ease.
This is a fact of life. Allah however, is the only continuous, the only eternal
and the only one who's always loving, forgiving, helping, healing and truly
guiding.
Know This Allah is the only continuous.
Therefore, Putting all of your primary love, dedication and
activity in this direction will benefit you consistent benefits for your union
and all facets of the world and the hereafter.
What Does relationship with Creator mean in a marriage?
It Means placing all your hopes, desires and expectations on
Allah. It means based ultimately only on Allah to fulfill all of your needs --
emotional, physical and beyond.
This by No means implies that your spouse does not have any
responsibilities towards you. It does mean, however, that even when he or she
fails or is inevitably constrained in certain aspects, your ultimate reliance
is upon Allah only. This complete dependence and attachment just to Allah can
save much heartbreak, disappointment and even disillusionment down the street.
The Quranic Approach to Marriage
In the Few verses the Quran comprises on marriage, there's a
lot of knowledge on how we are to approach the most romantic of our worldly
bonds.
Have we Truly inserted these verses into the core of our
union or are they abandoned as simply glistening calligraphy we embed on our
wedding invitations?
Tranquility. Peace. Serenity. These are intended to be the
objectives of marriage. The entire set up of our union life -- everything from
our ideas and words, to our homes, intimacy, financing, social activities and
more, should all be diverted at bringing peace into one another's lives.
We must Sincerely question if our efforts are responsible
for fulfilling Allah's purpose of marital tranquility or in pursuit of our
restricted worldly comprehension of marriage.
Are our Efforts for the sake of living together in
tranquility or are they for the sake of feeding our lesser selves and just
fulfilling our worldly wants and demands?
Our Desires have their place and significance; after all,
Allah himself made them and supplied us with marriage in order to meet them.
Moreover, one of the oft-repeated prayers of Prophet Muhammad (peace be on him)
was to ask Allah to give him the finest in this planet and the hereafter.
However, If our worldly desires take precedence over the
Quranic objective of tranquility for marriage, we digress from Allah's primary
purpose with this sacred marriage.
The Prophetic Approach to Marriage
Often Times, the principal pair of reference points we have
for marriage include that of our parents, relatives, friends or what's depicted
in movies, television and celebrity culture.
Unfortunately Though, these reference points may not always
demonstrate what a healthful Muslim union should look like.
Just as Together with all aspects of a Muslim's lifetime,
for union too, we must visit the Prophetic approach for advice in every facet
from the best way to choose a spouse, to the procedure for this union, the intimate
relations, day to day lifestyle and most significantly on how best to take care
of the benefits and tribulations that have married life.
There Is much wisdom and practical tips one can gain from
delving into the relationship Prophet Muhammad shared with each of his wives.
This education must be a prerequisite for anybody entering a Muslim union,
chiefly for knowing how to approach one's function as a husband or wife.
Two key Challenges in almost any relationship, particularly
marriage, are in addressing each other's flaws and differences and as a result,
spending much of married life attempting to 'fix' each other.
This Approach neglects the fact that ultimately, life and
all the functions one can play in it, including that of a spouse, is all meant
to be a journey itself advancement, so you can gradually but surely turn into
the individual that Allah desires them to become.
The Primary focus then should first be on self-improvement,
as opposed to on 'spouse improvement.' Research also shows that all people,
married or not, learn and follow better through example rather than only
advice.
No one Practiced and understood this better than Prophet Muhammad,
who was referred to by his wife, Aisha, as a surviving example of this Quran.
Actually, scholars have gone on record to say that a lot of the Prophet's
Sunnah stems out of his actions rather than words. He had been a man of action
-- a partner of action.
This is Not to mention that you should not seek to improve
the self and the partner -- only to suggest a sensible and wise approach in
doing this. The lesson from Prophet Muhammad in marriage and all relationship
issues is apparent: Lead by example.
Man is Imperfect
Thanks To romantic comedies, stories that some rosy-eyed
newly-weds talk or even the trend of intentionally or intentionally displaying
perfect marital relations on social networking, a lot of us have become
expecting perfection from ourselves and from our spouses in marriage.
To get Out of this snare, first we must internalize the
truth that perfection belongs only to Allah. In fact, by default, makes us
imperfect.
To test Whether you've fully realized this fact, ask
yourself: How do I react to my flaws? How do I react to the flaws of my spouse?
If you Find that you chance to beat yourself up when you
make a mistake or are rather unpleasant with your spouse's limitations, you
need to question just how well you accept the fact that loyalty goes only to
Allah.
Adjust Your fantasies from yourself and your spouse, accept
that with marriage comes hardship and ease and learn how to strive for
excellence, instead of perfection.
The Big Picture
One Of the top prayers from the Quran for a successful union
is given in Surah Al-Furqan [25:74]. In regards to this particular prayer, a
lot of the focus has always been about the 'coolness of the eyes'. While this
stage is vital, it is just as necessary to concentrate on the ending of the
prayer, which asks for aid in getting the pioneers of the righteous.
This Point really puts into perspective the big picture for
union -- ultimately -- a prosperous marriage -- not just one that remains
intact but one that does this with tranquility and coolness between the spouses
-- such an accomplishment helps not just the two people or kids involved but
can go onto positively impact society as a whole.
A truly Successful marriage, in the Islamic belief, can help
to make positive leaders and role models from their spouses and kids -- for the
ultimate benefit of communities throughout the plank and that in turn, helps
humanity to flourish and advancement.
The Order of this prayer -- asking for coolness in the
partner and marriage and then help in getting leaders among the righteous
permits for this shift in the large picture focus we need to have for our
unions.
Moreover, A focus on this huge picture can help one to
persevere during the inevitable rough times in marriage and life.
Conclusion:
Marriage, Just like every other aspect of the world, is
merely a path to reaching our final destination: Allah and our home in
paradise.
While Starting with a strong spiritual foundation is only
the start to becoming a prosperous Muslim partner, it's an essential
prerequisite to success in marriage because it helps keep your eyes on the
ball.
Making Allah the heart of a union can help to not only
strengthen the hearts of both partners to each other but will also lead to an
accurate compass with which the couple can navigate through all the additional
practical customs, characteristics and challenges that come with trying to
become a prosperous Muslim partner.
Finally, In spite of the ideal focus and attempts -- that
the end results might not always be exactly what we desire. There could be
continuous hardship and there is also the reality of unions that don't work
out.
However, When the heart of marriage starts and ends with
Allah, no matter what the end result, as a believer, it is sometimes a win-win
scenario regardless -- provided the entire journey is leading to one's ultimate
goal: Pleasure of Allah.